Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
How's work?
Spinning.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
