I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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