It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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