Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
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