Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Barsexuality is the new black.
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please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
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Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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