he wants to bone in the snuggie
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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