You're so nebulous sometimes
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
