the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
