would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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