Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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