He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
