it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
