my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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