I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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