I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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