Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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