That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
