it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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