oh god the rape fog is back!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
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