Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
