I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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