Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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