I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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