Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
