woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize