Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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