it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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