If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
