Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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