Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
