your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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