If that was your dad, he is hot
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
