Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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