i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize