I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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