I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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