I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
