Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
