It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize