We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
