Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she smelled like a LAN party
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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