This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
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good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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