i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
