I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
