I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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