ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
