i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
