first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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