; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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