It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
