so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
