It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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