not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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