If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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