I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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