Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
