I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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