If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
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