Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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