If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
How does one acquire holy water?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
