Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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