I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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