I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
