so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
