You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
